docs/114363: minor grammar nits in handbook/desktop chapter
Ben Kaduk
minimarmot at gmail.com
Fri Jul 6 18:40:04 UTC 2007
>Number: 114363
>Category: docs
>Synopsis: minor grammar nits in handbook/desktop chapter
>Confidential: no
>Severity: non-critical
>Priority: low
>Responsible: freebsd-doc
>State: open
>Quarter:
>Keywords:
>Date-Required:
>Class: doc-bug
>Submitter-Id: current-users
>Arrival-Date: Fri Jul 06 18:40:03 GMT 2007
>Closed-Date:
>Last-Modified:
>Originator: Ben Kaduk
>Release: 7-CURRENT
>Organization:
>Environment:
System: FreeBSD prolepsis.scs.uiuc.edu 7.0-CURRENT FreeBSD 7.0-CURRENT #1: Sun Apr 1 16:59:00 UTC 2007 kaduk at prolepsis.scs.uiuc.edu:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/GENERIC i386
>Description:
I'm getting on more shaky ground with some of the proposed changes in this chapter. Please exercise editorial judgement.
There's a list of changes in the patch; I'll try to take them in order:
o [style in describing Mozilla's features]: I got tired of the big list of declarative sentences ``It features ...'', so I changed it up a bit. I'm pretty sure that it's okay to use a colon in this context
o Communicator Suite-->the Communicator Suite: I think that a definite article is appropriate here
o resource-consuming-->resource-demanding: I think the latter is more commonly used
o for any reason-->for whatever reason: the former implies (in my reading) that the reader is partisan agains compiling Mozilla; the latter is more considering (nicer to the reader?)
o you already installed-->you have already installed: perhaps not necessary, but probably enhances readibility
o [plugins]: they are listed, and ``not the case'' feels awkward (to me)
o [FTP/packages]: ``the same result can be obtained'' is awkward in this context
o appear to be-->should be: the latter makes it sound more like we know what we're doing
o [Konqueror plugins]: they aren't installed by default, so Konqueror doesn't come with them (but they are, nonetheless, available)
o [Konqueror Howto]: I think my version makes it more clear what the howto does for the user
o default application-->default productivity package [and more]: specify what there is no default of, and do not imply that all options are available without user effort to get them
o [MS .doc]: I think that the possessive on .doc is valid, and we might as well use the entity while we're here
o [internationalization]: make more clear how the different languages have been incorporated
o packages-->packages,: avoid run-on
o [new document formats]: pdf's have been quite popular for many years now. Are there document viewers in base other than *roff? I don't know anyone that composes in roff for anything other than man pages.
o [gv]: readility and style (?)
o [finances]: more hyphenation (I'm starting to think I might be going overboard on this. . .), prefer ``such as'' to ``like'' (optional), and do not imply that an application can support at most one external file format
o applications-->programs: remove ambiguity (action vs. software)
o yet powerful-->,yet powerful,: while it's tempting to say ``user-friendly-but-powerful'', that's just silly. Adding these commas may make this sentence more readable.
o or your stocks-->and your stocks: do not imply that only one thing can be done at once
o many-->and many: ``many keyboard accelerators and auto-completion methods'' seems to be one element in the list (if not, some modifier should be added to ``auto-completion methods'', such as ``several'', to make this clear)
o spreadsheet-->spreadsheet program: I am very uncertain about this one, but I always thought that the spreadsheet was the document that the spreadsheet program modifies. Excel's webpage claims it is a spreadsheet program, wikipedia claims gnumeric is a spreadsheet program, but gnumeric's webpage lists it as just a ``spreadsheet'' (in at least one place). What gives?
o and-->with: it seems that the autofill system is a subclass of the ``guessing'' and should be included as such
o type in-->do: ``do'' seems to be the preferred way to indicate a command to be typed in, in this handbook (so far)
o spreadsheet-->spreadsheet program: see above; I didn't check websites about Abacus, but the two instances should probably be consistent on the same page
o from its-->as a: the latter seems more consistent with our use of package.
>How-To-Repeat:
http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/desktop.html
and the rest of the chapter
>Fix:
patch attached.
Patch attached with submission follows:
--- chapter.sgml.orig 2007-07-05 13:56:31.000000000 -0500
+++ chapter.sgml 2007-07-06 12:54:55.000000000 -0500
@@ -178,22 +178,22 @@
</indexterm>
<para><application>Mozilla</application> is a modern,
- stable browser that is fully ported to FreeBSD. It features a very
- standards-compliant HTML display engine. It provides a mail
+ stable browser that is fully ported to FreeBSD: it features a very
+ standards-compliant HTML display engine; it provides a mail
and news reader. It even has a HTML composer if you plan to
write some web pages yourself. Users of
<application>&netscape;</application> will recognize the
- similarities with <application>Communicator</application>
- suite, as both browsers shared the same basis.</para>
+ similarities with the <application>Communicator</application>
+ suite, as both browsers share some development history.</para>
<para>On slow machines, with a CPU speed less than 233MHz or
with less than 64MB of RAM, <application>Mozilla</application>
- can be too resource-consuming to be fully usable. You may
+ can be too resource-demanding to be fully usable. You may
want to look at the <application>Opera</application> browser
instead, described a little later in this chapter.</para>
<para>If you cannot or do not want to compile
- <application>Mozilla</application> for any reason, the FreeBSD
+ <application>Mozilla</application>, for whatever reason, the FreeBSD
GNOME team has already done this for you. Just install the
package from the network by:</para>
@@ -256,7 +256,7 @@
<title>Firefox, Mozilla and &java; plugin</title>
<note>
- <para>In this section and in the next one, we assume you
+ <para>In this section and in the next one, we assume you have
already installed <application>Firefox</application> or
<application>Mozilla</application>.</para>
</note>
@@ -270,8 +270,8 @@
<para>To add &java; support to
<application>Firefox</application> or
- <application>Mozilla</application>, you have to install, at
- first, the <filename
+ <application>Mozilla</application>, you first have to install
+ the <filename
role="package">java/javavmwrapper</filename> port. Then,
download the <application>Diablo &jre;</application> package
from <ulink
@@ -280,9 +280,9 @@
<para>Start your browser, enter
<literal>about:plugins</literal> in the location bar and press
- <keycap>Enter</keycap>. A page regarding installed plugins
- will be displayed, the <application>&java;</application>
- plugin should be listed there now. If it is not the case, as
+ <keycap>Enter</keycap>. A page listing the installed plugins
+ will be displayed; the <application>&java;</application>
+ plugin should be listed there now. If it is not, as
<username>root</username>, run the following command:</para>
<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>ln -s /usr/local/diablo-jre1.5.0/plugin/i386/ns7/libjavaplugin_oji.so \
@@ -356,9 +356,9 @@
<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>pkg_add -r opera</userinput></screen>
- <para>Some FTP sites do not have all the packages, but the same
- result can be obtained with the Ports Collection by
- typing:</para>
+ <para>Some FTP sites do not have all the packages, but
+ <application>Opera</application> can still be obtained
+ through the Ports Collection by typing:</para>
<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>cd /usr/ports/www/opera</userinput>
&prompt.root; <userinput>make install clean</userinput></screen>
@@ -370,7 +370,7 @@
version is useful in situations requiring the use of plug-ins
that are only available for Linux, such as <application>Adobe
&acrobat.reader;</application>. In all other respects, the
- FreeBSD and Linux versions appear to be functionally
+ FreeBSD and Linux versions should be functionally
identical.</para>
</sect2>
@@ -388,10 +388,14 @@
<application>Konqueror</application> is much more than a browser,
it is also a file manager and a multimedia viewer.</para>
- <para><application>Konqueror</application> also comes with a set of plugins,
+ <para>There is also a set of plugins available for
+ <application>Konqueror</application>,
available in <filename role="package">misc/konq-plugins</filename>.</para>
- <para><application>Konqueror</application> also supports <application>&flash;</application> and a How To
+ <para><application>Konqueror</application> also supports
+ <application>&flash;</application>; a <quote>How To</quote> guide
+ for getting <application>&flash;</application> support on
+ <application>Konqueror</application>
is available at <ulink url="http://freebsd.kde.org/howto.php"></ulink>.</para>
</sect2>
</sect1>
@@ -403,7 +407,8 @@
good office suite or a friendly word processor. While some
<link linkend="x11-wm">desktop environments</link> like
<application>KDE</application> already provide an office suite,
- there is no default application. FreeBSD provides all that is
+ there is no default productivity package.
+ FreeBSD can provide all that is
needed, regardless of your desktop environment.</para>
<para>This section covers these applications:</para>
@@ -503,7 +508,7 @@
<para><application>AbiWord</application> can import or export
many file formats, including some proprietary ones like
- Microsoft <filename>.doc</filename>.</para>
+ µsoft;'s <filename>.doc</filename>.</para>
<para><application>AbiWord</application> is available as a
package. You can install it by:</para>
@@ -578,7 +583,8 @@
and a drawing program. Its user interface is very similar
to other office suites, and it can import and export in various
popular file formats. It is available in a number of
- different languages including interfaces, spell checkers, and
+ different languages &emdash; internationalization has been
+ extended to interfaces, spell checkers, and
dictionaries.</para>
<para>The word processor of
@@ -593,7 +599,7 @@
can be found on the
<ulink url="http://www.openoffice.org/">OpenOffice.org web site</ulink>.
For FreeBSD specific information, and to directly
- download packages use the <ulink
+ download packages, use the <ulink
url="http://porting.openoffice.org/freebsd/">FreeBSD OpenOffice.org
Porting Team</ulink>'s web site.</para>
@@ -656,9 +662,10 @@
<sect1 id="desktop-viewers">
<title>Document Viewers</title>
- <para>Some new document formats have recently gained popularity.
- The standard viewers they require may not be available in the
- base system. We will see how to install them in this
+ <para>Some new document formats have gained popularity since
+ the advent of &unix;;
+ the standard viewers they require may not be available in the
+ base system. We will see how to install such viewers in this
section.</para>
<para>This section covers these applications:</para>
@@ -751,9 +758,9 @@
viewer. It is originally based on
<application>ghostview</application> but it has a nicer look
thanks to the <application>Xaw3d</application> library. It is fast and its interface is
- clean. <application>gv</application> has many features like
- orientation, paper size, scale, or antialias. Almost any
- operation can be done either from the keyboard or the
+ clean. <application>gv</application> has many features, such as
+ orientation, paper size, scale, and anti-aliasing. Almost any
+ operation can be done with either the keyboard or the
mouse.</para>
<para>To install <application>gv</application> as a package,
@@ -832,11 +839,11 @@
<para>If, for any reason, you would like to manage your personal
finances on your FreeBSD Desktop, there are some powerful and
- easy to use applications ready to be installed. Some of them
- are compatible with widespread file formats like those of
- <application><trademark class="registered">Quicken</trademark></application> or <application>Excel</application> documents.</para>
+ easy-to-use applications ready to be installed. Some of them
+ are compatible with widespread file formats, such as the formats used by
+ <application><trademark class="registered">Quicken</trademark></application> and <application>Excel</application> to store documents.</para>
- <para>This section covers these applications:</para>
+ <para>This section covers these programs:</para>
<informaltable frame="none" pgwide="1">
<tgroup cols="4">
@@ -882,14 +889,14 @@
<para><application>GnuCash</application> is part of the
<application>GNOME</application> effort to provide
- user-friendly yet powerful applications to end-users. With
+ user-friendly, yet powerful, applications to end-users. With
<application>GnuCash</application>, you can keep track of your
- income and expenses, your bank accounts, or your stocks. It
+ income and expenses, your bank accounts, and your stocks. It
features an intuitive interface while remaining very
professional.</para>
<para><application>GnuCash</application> provides a smart
- register, a hierarchical system of accounts, many keyboard
+ register, a hierarchical system of accounts, and many keyboard
accelerators and auto-completion methods. It can split a
single transaction into several more detailed pieces.
<application>GnuCash</application> can import and merge
@@ -918,10 +925,10 @@
<secondary><application>Gnumeric</application></secondary>
</indexterm>
- <para><application>Gnumeric</application> is a spreadsheet, part
+ <para><application>Gnumeric</application> is a spreadsheet program, part
of the <application>GNOME</application> desktop environment.
It features convenient automatic <quote>guessing</quote> of user
- input according to the cell format and an autofill system for
+ input according to the cell format with an autofill system for
many sequences. It can import files in a number of popular
formats like those of <application>Excel</application>, <application>Lotus 1-2-3</application>, or <application>Quattro Pro</application>.
<application>Gnumeric</application> supports graphs through
@@ -931,7 +938,7 @@
date, time, and much more.</para>
<para>To install <application>Gnumeric</application> as a
- package, type in:</para>
+ package, do:</para>
<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>pkg_add -r gnumeric</userinput></screen>
@@ -953,13 +960,13 @@
</indexterm>
<para><application>Abacus</application> is a small and easy to
- use spreadsheet. It includes many built-in functions useful
+ use spreadsheet program. It includes many built-in functions useful
in several domains such as statistics, finances, and
mathematics. It can import and export the <application>Excel</application> file format.
<application>Abacus</application> can produce &postscript;
output.</para>
- <para>To install <application>Abacus</application> from its
+ <para>To install <application>Abacus</application> as a
package, do:</para>
<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>pkg_add -r abacus</userinput></screen>
>Release-Note:
>Audit-Trail:
>Unformatted:
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