docs/114337: minor grammar nits to handbook/x11 chapter

Ben Kaduk minimarmot at
Thu Jul 5 18:50:02 UTC 2007

>Number:         114337
>Category:       docs
>Synopsis:       minor grammar nits to handbook/x11 chapter
>Confidential:   no
>Severity:       non-critical
>Priority:       low
>Responsible:    freebsd-doc
>State:          open
>Class:          doc-bug
>Submitter-Id:   current-users
>Arrival-Date:   Thu Jul 05 18:50:01 GMT 2007
>Originator:     Ben Kaduk
>Release:        7-CURRENT
System: FreeBSD 7.0-CURRENT FreeBSD 7.0-CURRENT #1: Sun Apr 1 16:59:00 UTC 2007 kaduk at i386
I attach a patch with a number of small changes, which I detail here

o the first change is an attempt to make the sentence relating X11, XOrg and XFree86 more parse-able.  This is difficult for me, because I'm not entirely sure what the relationships are, myself. claims ( that ``The X.Org Foundation provides an open source implementation of the X Window System''; presumably XFree86 does as well.  This change reverses the inclusion so that the two softwares include the X11 protocol, not the other way around (which doesn't make much sense)

o XDM controlled-->XDM-controlled: more hyphenation issues that I'm not 100% certain about; Marc Fonvieille is (hopefully) looking into this some more (controlled is a past participle here, right?)

o the login-->login: either ``the chooser screen'' and ``the login screen'', or ``the chooser and login screens''.  

o edit-->you must edit: the text is telling the user what to do

o [Xaccess]: a bit of style change (show the relation between two sentences), and close off the sentence with why users may wish to consult more documentation.

o [add commas to list]

o represents-->is: Konqueror is a browser, not a picture of one

o FreeBSD-KDE-->FreeBSD KDE: style (?) I'm not sure what a hyphen adds here, and I couldn't find this term on the referenced webpage

o etc. is an abbreviation

o other things-->more: ``other things'' just feels like the wrong tone for this piece, to me
and the rest of the chapter
patch attached

Patch attached with submission follows:

--- chapter.sgml.orig	2007-07-03 18:27:06.000000000 -0500
+++ chapter.sgml	2007-07-05 12:59:42.000000000 -0500
@@ -26,9 +26,10 @@
     <para>FreeBSD uses X11 to provide users with
       a powerful graphical user interface.  X11
-      is an open-source implementation of the X Window System that
-      includes both <application>&xorg;</application> and
-      <application>&xfree86;</application>.  &os; versions up to and
+      is a freely available version of the X Window System that
+      is implemented in both <application>&xorg;</application> and
+      <application>&xfree86;</application> (and other software
+      packages not discussed here).  &os; versions up to and
       including &os; 5.2.1-RELEASE
       will find the default installation to be
       <application>&xfree86;</application>, the X11 server released by
@@ -1144,7 +1145,7 @@
         <para>The protocol for connecting to
-          <application>XDM</application> controlled displays is called
+          <application>XDM</application>-controlled displays is called
           the X Display Manager Connection Protocol (XDMCP).  This file
           is a ruleset for controlling XDMCP connections from remote
 	  machines.  It is ignored unless the <filename>xdm-config</filename>
@@ -1155,7 +1156,7 @@
         <para>This is an application-defaults file for the display
-          chooser and the login screens.  This is where the appearance
+          chooser and login screens.  In it, the appearance
           of the login program can be modified.  The format is identical
           to the app-defaults file described in the
 	  X11 documentation.</para>
@@ -1210,7 +1211,7 @@
       <title>Running a Network Display Server</title>
       <para>In order for other clients to connect to the display
-        server, edit the access control rules, and enable the connection
+        server, you must edit the access control rules and enable the connection
         listener.  By default these are set to conservative values.
         To make <application>XDM</application> listen for connections,
         first comment out a line in the <filename>xdm-config</filename>
@@ -1223,9 +1224,9 @@
       <para>and then restart <application>XDM</application>.  Remember that
         comments in app-defaults files begin with a <quote>!</quote>
         character, not the usual <quote>#</quote>.  More strict
-        access controls may be desired.  Look at the example
+        access controls may be desired — look at the example
         entries in <filename>Xaccess</filename>, and refer to the
-        &man.xdm.1; manual page.</para>
+        &man.xdm.1; manual page for further information.</para>
@@ -1428,7 +1429,7 @@
-	    <para>Centralized consisted dialog driven desktop
+	    <para>Centralized, consistent, dialog-driven desktop
@@ -1439,13 +1440,13 @@
         <para><application>KDE</application> comes with a web browser called
-          <application>Konqueror</application>, which represents
+          <application>Konqueror</application>, which is
           a solid competitor to other existing web browsers on &unix;
           systems.  More information on <application>KDE</application>
           can be found on the <ulink url="">KDE
           website</ulink>.  For FreeBSD specific information and
 	  resources on <application>KDE</application>, consult
-	  the <ulink url="">FreeBSD-KDE
+	  the <ulink url="">FreeBSD KDE
 	  team</ulink>'s website.</para>
@@ -1554,7 +1555,7 @@
 	     <para>Fully configurable via mouse, with drag and
-               drop, etc </para>
+               drop, etc. </para>
@@ -1564,8 +1565,7 @@
 	     <para>Integrated window manager, file manager, sound manager,
-	       <application>GNOME</application> compliance module, and other
-	       things</para>
+	       <application>GNOME</application> compliance module, and more</para>


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