svn commit: r44960 - head/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/remote-install

Benedict Reuschling bcr at
Mon May 26 17:10:56 UTC 2014

Author: bcr
Date: Mon May 26 17:10:55 2014
New Revision: 44960

  Remove contractions, improve capitalization, clean up redundant markup
  and words.


Modified: head/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/remote-install/article.xml
--- head/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/remote-install/article.xml	Mon May 26 16:34:04 2014	(r44959)
+++ head/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/remote-install/article.xml	Mon May 26 17:10:55 2014	(r44960)
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 <!DOCTYPE article PUBLIC "-//FreeBSD//DTD DocBook XML V5.0-Based Extension//EN"
 <article xmlns="" xmlns:xlink="" version="5.0" xml:lang="en">
-  <info><title>Remote Installation of the &os; Operating System without a
+  <info><title>Remote Installation of the &os; Operating System Without a
       Remote Console</title>
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@
     <para>In some cases, these companies will install your preferred
       &linux; distribution if you request it.  Using this option, we will
       attempt to install &os;.  In other cases, they may offer a rescue
-      system which would be used in an emergency.  It's possible to use
+      system which would be used in an emergency.  It is possible to use
       this for our purposes as well.</para>
     <para>This article covers the basic installation and configuration
@@ -166,7 +166,7 @@
       <para>Another important thing to set is the
 	<systemitem class="username">root</systemitem> password.  This can be done by editing
-	the <filename>conf/rootpw.conf</filename> file. Please keep in
+	<filename>conf/rootpw.conf</filename>. Please keep in
 	mind that the file will contain your password in the plain text,
 	thus we do not recommend to use real password here.
 	Nevertheless, this is just a temporary one-time password which
@@ -189,17 +189,16 @@ initconf_ip_ext1=""
 	<para>Do not forget to add the <literal>defaultrouter</literal>
-	  information to the <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename>
-	  file:</para>
+	  information to <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename>:</para>
-	<title>The <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename> method</title>
+	<title>The <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename> Method</title>
 	<para>When the network interface driver is known, it is more
-	  convenient to use the <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename> file
+	  convenient to use <filename>conf/rc.conf</filename>
 	  for networking options.  The syntax of this file is the same
 	  as the one used in the standard &man.rc.conf.5; file of
@@ -214,7 +213,7 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
     <sect2 xml:id="mfsbsd-build">
-      <title>Building an <application>mfsBSD</application> image</title>
+      <title>Building an <application>mfsBSD</application> Image</title>
       <para>The process of building an <application>mfsBSD</application>
 	image is pretty straightforward.</para>
@@ -236,9 +235,9 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
       <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>make BASE=/cdrom/<replaceable>7.0-RELEASE</replaceable></userinput></screen>
-	<para>The above <command>make</command> command has to be run
+	<para>The above <command>make</command> has to be run
 	  from the top level of the <application>mfsBSD</application>
-	  directory tree, i.e. <filename>~/mfsbsd-1.0-beta1/</filename>.</para>
+	  directory tree, for example <filename>~/mfsbsd-1.0-beta1/</filename>.</para>
@@ -271,7 +270,7 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
   <sect1 xml:id="installation">
-    <title>Installation of The &os; Operating System</title>
+    <title>Installation of the &os; Operating System</title>
     <para>The <application>mfsBSD</application> has been successfully
       booted and it should be possible to log in through &man.ssh.1;.
@@ -307,7 +306,7 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
 	introduction, this article will present how to set up a system
 	with RAID-1 and <application>ZFS</application> capabilities.
 	Our set up will consist of a small &man.gmirror.8; mirrored
-	<filename>/</filename> (root), <filename>/usr</filename> and <filename>/var</filename> file systems, and the rest of
+	<filename>/</filename> (root), <filename>/usr</filename> and <filename>/var</filename> dataset, and the rest of
 	the disk space will be allocated for a &man.zpool.8; mirrored
 	<application>ZFS</application> file system.  Please note, that
 	the <application>ZFS</application> file system will be
@@ -369,7 +368,7 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
 	<callout arearefs="gmirror2">
-	  <para>Note the <option>-F</option> option used for swap
+	  <para>Note that <option>-F</option> is used for the swap
 	    partition.  This instructs &man.gmirror.8; to assume that
 	    the device is in the consistent state after the power/system
@@ -414,13 +413,13 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
       <para>Go to the <guimenuitem>Distributions</guimenuitem> menu,
-	move the cursor with the arrow keys on the
-	<option>Minimal</option> option, and check it by pressing
+	move the cursor with the arrow keys to
+	<option>Minimal</option>, and check it by pressing
 	<keycap>Space</keycap>.  This article uses the Minimal
 	distribution in order to save network traffic, because the
 	system itself will be installed over
 	<application>ftp</application>.  Exit this menu by choosing
-	<option>Exit</option> option.</para>
+	<option>Exit</option>.</para>
 	<para>The <guimenuitem>Partition</guimenuitem> and
@@ -470,9 +469,9 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
 	    <filename>/etc/resolv.conf</filename> and
 	    <filename>/etc/fstab</filename> files.  Do not forget to
 	    properly set the network information and to enable
-	    <application>sshd</application> in the
-	    <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> file.  The contents of the
-	    <filename>/etc/fstab</filename> file will be similar to the
+	    <application>sshd</application> in
+	    <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename>.  The contents of
+	    <filename>/etc/fstab</filename> will be similar to the
 	  <programlisting># Device                Mountpoint      FStype  Options         Dump    Pass#
@@ -484,7 +483,7 @@ ifconfig_re0="inet netmask 2
-	  <para>Create the <filename>/boot/loader.conf</filename> file,
+	  <para>Create <filename>/boot/loader.conf</filename>
 	    with the following contents:</para>
@@ -539,7 +538,7 @@ zfs_load="YES"</programlisting>
 &prompt.root; <userinput>zfs set mountpoint=/usr/ports tank/ports</userinput>
 &prompt.root; <userinput>zfs set mountpoint=/usr/src tank/src</userinput></screen>
-    <para>That's all.  If you are interested in more details about
+    <para>That is all.  If you are interested in more details about
       <application>ZFS</application> on &os;, please refer to the <link xlink:href="">ZFS</link> section of the &os;

More information about the svn-doc-all mailing list