svn commit: r40946 - head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom

Benjamin Kaduk kaduk at MIT.EDU
Tue Feb 12 03:20:48 UTC 2013


On Mon, 11 Feb 2013, Dru Lavigne wrote:

> Author: dru
> Date: Mon Feb 11 14:50:33 2013
> New Revision: 40946
> URL: http://svnweb.freebsd.org/changeset/doc/40946
>
> Log:
>  This patch addresses the following:
>
>  - fixes xref tags
>
>  - some tightening and removing of redundancy
>
>  - fixed some confusion in glabel section
>
>  Approved by	gjb (mentor)
>
> Modified:
>  head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.xml
>
> Modified: head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.xml
> ==============================================================================
> --- head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.xml	Mon Feb 11 13:47:43 2013	(r40945)
> +++ head/en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/geom/chapter.xml	Mon Feb 11 14:50:33 2013	(r40946)
> @@ -35,11 +35,11 @@
>       control utilities which use the framework for configuration.
>       This chapter will not go into in depth discussion on how GEOM
>       handles or controls I/O, the underlying subsystem, or code.
> -      This information is provided through the &man.geom.4; manual
> -      page and its various SEE ALSO references.  This chapter is also
> -      not a definitive guide to <acronym>RAID</acronym>
> -      configurations.  Only GEOM-supported <acronym>RAID</acronym>
> -      classifications will be discussed.</para>
> +      This information is provided in &man.geom.4; and its various

If memory serves, we are using (all over the place, not just here) man 
page entities to refer to both the man page and the program itself.
That is potentially a source of confusion, though not necessarily 
something to tackle here.

> +      <literal>SEE ALSO</literal> references.  This chapter is also
> +      not a definitive guide to <acronym>RAID</acronym> configurations
> +      and only GEOM-supported <acronym>RAID</acronym> classifications
> +      will be discussed.</para>
>
>     <para>After reading this chapter, you will know:</para>
>
> @@ -317,28 +316,28 @@ Done.</screen>
> 	used to replace the old single disk.</para>
>
>       <para>&man.gmirror.8; requires a kernel module,
> -	<filename>geom_mirror.ko</filename>, either built into the
> -	kernel or loaded at boot- or run-time.  Manually load the
> -	kernel module now:</para>
> +	<filename>geom_mirror.ko</filename>, either compiled into a
> +	custom kernel or loaded at boot- or run-time.  To manually
> +	load the kernel module now:</para>
>
>       <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>gmirror load</userinput></screen>
>
> -      <para>Create the mirror with the two new drives.</para>
> +      <para>To create the mirror with the two new drives.</para>

This should end with a colon, not a full stop?

> @@ -384,8 +383,8 @@ Done.</screen>
> &prompt.root; <userinput>newfs -U /dev/mirror/gm0s1e</userinput>
> &prompt.root; <userinput>newfs -U /dev/mirror/gm0s1f</userinput></screen>
>
> -      <para>Filesystems from the original disk
> -	(<devicename>ada0</devicename>) can now be copied onto the
> +      <para>Filesystems from the original

I'm pretty sure Kirk and Bruce et all prefer "File systems" with a space, 
but it seems the NFSv4 guys are not having any of it 
(http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/nfsv4/current/msg11661.html).

> +	<devicename>ada0</devicename> disk can now be copied onto the
> 	mirror with &man.dump.8; and &man.restore.8;.</para>
>
>       <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>mount /dev/mirror/gm0s1a /mnt</userinput>
> @@ -527,8 +526,8 @@ BSD 8
> 6  freebsd-ufs  130023424  838860800
> 7  freebsd-ufs  968884224  984640881</screen>
>
> -      <para>If the whole disk was used in the output of &man.gpart.8;
> -	<command>show</command>, the capacity in these partition
> +      <para>If the whole disk shows as used in the output of
> +	<command>gpart show</command>, the capacity in these partition

(Warren's suggestion seems fine.)

> 	tables must be reduced by one sector.  Edit the two files,
> 	reducing the size of both the slice and last partition by one.
> 	These are the last numbers in each listing.</para>
> @@ -1010,8 +1000,8 @@ Done.</screen>
>
>     <programlisting>192.168.1.0/24 RW /dev/da0s4d</programlisting>
>
> -    <para>It will allow all hosts inside the private network access
> -      the file system on the <devicename>da0s4d</devicename>
> +    <para>This allows all hosts inside the specified private network
> +      access to the file system on the <devicename>da0s4d</devicename>

I think it would be "gives X access to" or "allows X to access", not 
"allows X access to"

>       partition.</para>
>
>     <para>To export this device, ensure it is not currently mounted,
> @@ -1258,9 +1236,9 @@ ufsid/486b6fc16926168e     N/A  ad4s1f</
> /dev/ufsid/486b6fc16926168e        /usr        ufs        rw        2      2</programlisting>
>
>       <para>Any partitions with <literal>ufsid</literal> labels can be
> -	mounted in this way, eliminating the need to create permanent
> -	labels for them manually, while still enjoying the benefits of
> -	device-name independent mounting.</para>
> +	mounted in this way, eliminating the need to manually create
> +	permanent labels, while still enjoying the benefits of device
> +	name independent mounting.</para>

I would put hyphens in here, but I tend to overuse hyphens in such cases.

>     </sect2>
>   </sect1>
>
> @@ -1332,12 +1309,11 @@ ufsid/486b6fc16926168e     N/A  ad4s1f</
>
>     <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>newfs -O 2 -J /dev/da4.journal</userinput></screen>
>
> -    <para>The previously issued command will create a
> -      <acronym>UFS</acronym>2 file system on the journaled
> -      device.</para>
> +    <para>This command will creates a <acronym>UFS</acronym>2 file
> +      system on the journaled device.</para>
>
> -    <para>Effectively <command>mount</command> the device at the
> -      desired point with:</para>
> +    <para><command>mount</command> the device at the desired point

Should this be "desired point" or "desired mount point"?

> +      with:</para>
>
>     <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>mount /dev/da4.journal <replaceable>/mnt</replaceable></userinput></screen>
>
> @@ -1351,21 +1327,21 @@ ufsid/486b6fc16926168e     N/A  ad4s1f</
> +    <para>For better performance, the journal may be kept on another
> +      disk.  In this configuration, the journal provider or storage
> +      device should be listed after the device to enable journaling
> +      on.  Journaling may also be enabled on current file systems by

This sentence is pretty confusing.  Perhaps "the provider or storage 
device dedicated to holding the journal itself should be listed after the 
device whose transactions will be logged in the journal."?  Still a bit 
unwieldly, it seems....

> +      using <command>tunefs</command>.  However,

I'm not sure what "current file systems" are.  Are they ones that are 
mounted, or just an already extant filesystem?

Thanks for all the updates.

-Ben


> +      <emphasis>always</emphasis> make a backup before attempting to
> +      alter a file system.  In most cases, <command>gjournal</command>
> +      will fail if it is unable to create the journal, but this does
> +      not protect against data loss incurred as a result of misusing
>       <command>tunefs</command>.</para>


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