Alright you primitive screwheads, LISTEN UP!!

Bill Paul wpaul at FreeBSD.ORG
Mon May 16 13:39:32 PDT 2005

Ok everyone, PAY ATTENTION! Drop whatevery your doing for the next
five minutes and READ THIS!!

You see that header on this e-mail? You see the "From:" line? Go and
read it to yourself. Read the name. Say it to yourself, out loud.

No no, go back and do it again.


You see what is says? It says "Bill Paul." It does *********NOT*********
say "Paul Bill," does it now. WELL DOES IT!!?!?!

No, it damn well doesn't! And yet, for some incomprehensible reason.
the majority of you nitwits seem to think it does!!!!!!

Get this through your miserable little heads: my first name is BILL!!!
Understand that? Bill! BEE EYE ELL ELL!!!

              ____    _____   _        _        _   _ 
             |  _ \  |_   _| | |      | |      | | | |
             | |_) |   | |   | |      | |      | | | |
             |  _ <    | |   | |      | |      | | | |
             | |_) |  _| |_  | |____  | |____  |_| |_|
             |____/  |_____| |______| |______| (_) (_)

I can carve it into your skull with a rusty railroad spike if that
would make it easier to remember!

Do **************NOT*************** send me e-mails opening with
"Dear Paul!" That is _NOT_ my name! I don't care if you don't speak
english as a first language, are distracted, tired, confused, retarded
or the President of the United States: if you can't manage to scrape
together enough neurons to correctly choose which one of two lousy
syllables to use when addressing me, then I would rather never hear
from you at all!!!!!!

I am not kidding around here! I've been beating my brains out for
you rotten bastards for ten lousy years, and after all that time
I expect you to at least do me the courtesty of GETTING MY STUPID

This crap has been going on for years. It ends now. Anybody who's
dumb enough to send me an e-mail addressed to "Paul" instead of "Bill"
will be permanently banned from my inbox. I don't care if you're on
fire and need me to put you out: you will become persona non grata
and you will stay that way. Furthermore, anybody who screws up and
gets my name wrong in person will quickly find themselves beaten, 
ground into a fine powder and sprinkled over Richard Stallman's

And no, I don't want to hear your lousy comments on the matter!
Don't follow up!! Don't reply!! Just nod quietly and DON'T MAKE THIS

-Bill   <------------ SEE!!! LOOK!!! IT'S RIGHT THERE!!!!! IDIOTS!!!!!

-Bill Paul            (510) 749-2329 | Senior Engineer, Master of Unix-Fu
                 wpaul at | Wind River Systems
              <adamw> you're just BEGGING to face the moose

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