Unsubscribne failure

Gary gv-list-freebsdquestions at mygirlfriday.info
Tue Jan 4 19:16:58 PST 2005

Hi Tom,

On  Tue, 4 Jan 2005 20:50:18 -0600 UTC (1/4/2005, 8:50 PM -0600 UTC my time), Tom Bratland wrote:

T> Hi!

T> I've unsubscribed nunerous times, but I still get subscriber mail.

The new Unsubscribe System mandates that each person who wishes to
unsubscribe from a list, fill out *in triplicate* a Form UnSub-183-L. This
*must* be done in hard copy.  This form is then mailed to the Internet
Unsubscription Bureau (IUB) in Tuscola, Illinois.

Upon receipt of Form UnSub-183-L, the IUB will then prepare Form PU-876e,
the "Petition for Unsubscription" which must then be mailed to the ISUPC
(Internet Subscription -- Unsubscription Profiling Center) in Ludwig,
Florida, which will conduct a thorough personal investigation of The
Candidate for Unsubscription, which usually takes 6 to 8 weeks; unless
there's a recount. The cost of this investigation, is usually around $300 to $500, and it must be paid for by The Candidate for Unsubscription, with the payment being sent to the (Internet Fee Processing Center) IFPC in Detroit,Michigan. All payments must be made in Krugerrands. No personal checks or credit cards are accepted.

If all goes well with the personal investigation, The Candidate will receive Form STS-9387233, the Summons for Termination of Subscription Hearing. These hearings are held in one of three regional Locations throughout the country: Nome, Alaska -- Hilo, Hawaii -- and Key West, Florida. However hearings held in Florida are subject to many, many appeals so you might want to opt to have the jurisdiction moved to one of the other locations. Your personal attendance at these hearings is mandatory.

The Candidate for Unsubscription is advised to bring legal representation
with him or her to this hearing. A few people have managed to successfully
represent themselves all the way to a successful unsubscription, but it's a rare occasion when they prevail without an attorney to represent their interests.

At the hearing, a federal magistrate will hear the evidence and pleas
regarding the Petition for Unsubscription and make a decision as to whether
or not to proceed with the hearing or order a continuance until additional
information can be processed. If the Petition to unsubscribe is found worthy of consideration a court date will be set, usually within a six month period. Of course, The Candidate for Unsubscription can expect a fairly rigorous cross-examination by the prosecutors. Many searching,
embarrassing questions will be asked which might include: "If you could
manage to scrape enough brain cells together to subscribe to a list, what
happened when you decided to unsubscribe?" "What the heck is the matter with you?" or "Are you brain dead?" Then, of course, there's the Big One, "Can't you read instructions?"

Depending on how the trial proceeds, many different things can happen,
including a mistrial or a hung jury, which will result in entering the
appeals process {and you know how the Florida appeals system works}, or
jailing and torture of The Candidate for Unsubscription in a South American
prison. These topics will be covered in a later edition of this newsletter.

Or you could just send a blank email, using your email address you subscribed originally, to:

List-Unsubscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-questions> or

<mailto:freebsd-questions-request at freebsd.org?subject=unsubscribe>


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