i can't connect remote to my mysql server

[vladone]

I have instaled mysql server succcesfull and started. I set root
password, i can login to my server from console but i can't login
remote (i use Mysql Control Center for win, for quickly management).
I receive this error: "host 192.168.100.4 is not allowed to connect to
this Mysql server"
I dont know why, server is up and running.

#ps aux|grep mysql
mysql 11706  0.0  0.4  1660  1060  p0  I     1:37PM   0:00.01 /bin/sh /usr/local/bin/mysqld_safe --defaults-extra-file=/var/db/mysql/my.cnf --user=mysql --da
mysql 11726  0.0  9.7 57136 25064  p0  S     1:37PM   0:00.81 /usr/local/libexec/mysqld --defaults-extra-file=/var/db/mysql/my.cnf --basedir=/usr/local --dat

#sockstat -4
USER     COMMAND    PID   FD PROTO  LOCAL ADDRESS         FOREIGN ADDRESS
mysql    mysqld     11726 3  tcp4   *:3306                *:*

Another question is about config files. I dont know where is config
file for mysql on freebsd. In linux exist mysql.cnf but here ... i
dont see anything.