isp.xml diff for review

Giorgos Keramidas keramida at ceid.upatras.gr
Fri May 28 02:15:53 UTC 2004


On 2004-05-26 10:50, Maxim Konovalov <maxim at macomnet.ru> wrote:
> Hello,
> 
> Could you please review an enclosed diff especially my English.
> TIA.
> 
> Index: isp.xml
> ===================================================================
> RCS file: /home/ncvs/www/en/commercial/isp.xml,v
> retrieving revision 1.7
> diff -u -r1.7 isp.xml
> --- isp.xml	21 May 2004 17:46:21 -0000	1.7
> +++ isp.xml	26 May 2004 06:47:46 -0000
> @@ -85,4 +85,22 @@
>        programming as well as consulting and training.
>      </description>
>    </entry>
> +
> +  <entry id="macomnet">
> +    <name>MAcomnet telecommunications company, Moscow, Russia</name>
> +    <url>http://www.macomnet.com/</url>
> +    <description>
> +      CJSC MAcomnet is one of the biggest Moscow telecommunication
> +      companies founded in 1991 by the Moscow Metropoliten and
> +      Andrew Corporation (USA).  Numerous customers do justice to
> +      MAcomnet service high quality and level, among them are large
> +      communications operators, Internet providers, telephone companies,
> +      banks, hotels, exhibition centers, embassies, well known trading
> +      companies, government organizations, institutions, industrial
> +      enterprises, scientific-research institutes, mass media.
> +      A lot of MAcomnet ISP servers are FreeBSD based.  MAcomnet
> +      hosts cvsup4.ru.FreeBSD.org and cvsup5.ru.FreeBSD.org cvsup
> +      mirrors.
> +    </description>
> +  </entry>
>  </entries>
> %%%

The English is fine; well, except for one minor detail anyway.  You
should probably split the original text's largest sentence in the
following two separate sentences:

> +      Andrew Corporation (USA).  Numerous customers do justice to
> +      MAcomnet service high quality and level.  Among them are large
> +      communications operators, Internet providers, telephone companies,
> +      banks, hotels, exhibition centers, embassies, well known trading
> +      companies, government organizations, institutions, industrial
> +      enterprises, scientific-research institutes, mass media.

or something similar.  "Among MAcomnet's customers are large..." sounds
fine to me too.

- Giorgos



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