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] 17 Yes, before doing good it was needful for me to stand outside of
evil, in such conditions that I might cease to do evil.But my whole
life is evil. I may give away a hundred thousand rubles, and still I
shall not be in a position to do good because I shall still have five
hundred thousand left. Only when I have nothing shall I be in a
position to do the least particle of good, even as much as the
prostitute did which she nursed the sick women and her child for three
days. And that seemed so little to me! And I dared to think of good
myself! That which, on the first occasion, told me, at the sight of
the cold and hungry in the Lyapinsky house, that I was to blame for
this, and that to live as I live is impossible, and impossible, and
impossible,--that alone was true. It was hard for me to come to this
confession, but when I had come to it I was shocked at the error in
which I had been living. I stood up to my ears in the mud, and yet I
wanted to drag others out of this mud.
Noch ein andrer Umstand, der mirs glaublich macht, dass er toll ist,
ist ein naerrisches Maehrchen so er heute bey Tisch erzaehlte, man
habe seine eigne Hausthuere vor ihm verschlossen; seine Frau muesste
es dann darum gethan haben, weil sie schon weiss, wenn er seinen
Anstoss von Tollheit zu kriegen pflegt.Izt will ich nach seinem Hause
gehen, und seiner Frau erzaehlen, er sey heute, da er eben in seiner
tollen Stunde gewesen, in mein Haus eingedrungen, und habe mir mit
Gewalt meinen Ring genommen. Das daeucht mir das sicherste; denn
vierzig Ducaten verliehren, das waere zuviel auf einmal. Antipholis
von Ephesus. Besorge nichts, guter Freund; ich will nicht ausreissen;
ich will dir, eh ich dich verlasse, so viel Geld zum Unterpfand geben,
als die Summe betraegt um derentwillen ich in Verhaft bin. Meine Frau
ist heute nicht im guten Zeichen; sie wird meinem Bedienten nicht
getraut haben. Ich versichre dich, es wuerd ihr hart in den Ohren
toenen, wenn sie hoerte, dass ich in Ephesus f este sizen soll.
There is a touching beauty in her face, made more effective by the
deplorable condition to which she is reduced.Again she looks upward,
and covers her face with her hands; her soul seems merged in
supplication to the God who rules all things aright. He is a forgiving
God! Can he thus direct mans injustice to man, while this poor broken
flower thus withers under the bane Sad, melancholy, doomed! there is
no hope, no joy for her. She weeps over her degradation. Stop that
whimperin! says a ruffianly bystander, who orders a coloured boy to
let down her hair. He obeys the summons; it falls in thick, black,
undulating tresses over her neck and shoulders. A few moments more,
and she resumes a calm appearance, looks resolutely upon her auditors,
with indignation and contempt pictured in her countenance. Shell soon
get over that! ejaculates another bystander, as he smooths the long
beard on his haggard face. Strip her down! The request is no sooner
made, than Mr. OBrodereque mounts the stand to perform the feat.
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