Re: svn commit: r40807 - head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs

From: Benjamin Kaduk <kaduk_at_MIT.EDU>
Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:49:47 -0500 (EST)
Sorry this didn't come sooner; the latest draft with inline patch is still 
in my inbox waiting to be replied to.

On Tue, 29 Jan 2013, Eitan Adler wrote:

> Author: eadler
> Date: Tue Jan 29 23:24:39 2013
> New Revision: 40807
> URL: http://svnweb.freebsd.org/changeset/doc/40807
>
> Log:
>  Update and modernize the features.xml page
>
>  Translators take note: this is a full rewrite.  Starting with old
>  content will likely not be helpful.

I will trim large blocks of removed text from the quoted portion.

>  Submitted by:	Chris Petrik <c.petrik.sosa_at_gmail.com>
>  Submitted by:	Isaac (.ike) Levy <ike_at_blackskyresearch.net>
>  Reviewed by:	-doc
>  Approved by:	bcr (mentor)
>
> Modified:
>  head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/features.xml
>
> Modified: head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/features.xml
> ==============================================================================
> --- head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/features.xml	Tue Jan 29 22:37:44 2013	(r40806)
> +++ head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/features.xml	Tue Jan 29 23:24:39 2013	(r40807)
> _at__at_ -13,222 +13,120 _at__at_
>
>     <body class="navinclude.about">
>
> -    <h1>FreeBSD offers many advanced features.</h1>
> +    <h1>&os; offers many unique features.</h1>
>
> +      <p>No matter what the application, you want your system's
> +	resources performing at their full potential.  &os;'s focus
> +	on performance, networking, and storage, combined with easy
> +	system administration and excellent documentation to allow

"easy system administration" feels like it lacks proper parallelism here; 
"its ease of system administration" is probably better.

> +	you to do what you want.</p>
>
>     <h2>A complete operating system based on 4.4BSD.</h2>
>
> +      <p>&os;'s distinguished roots derive from the <b>BSD</b>
> +	software releases from the Computer Systems Research Group at
> +	the University of California, Berkeley.  Over fifteen years of

FreeBSD 2.0 was 1995, no?  That would be seventeen years, which is not as 
round a number, I guess.

> +	work have been put into enhancing &os;, adding
> +	industry-leading scalability, network performance, management
> +	tools, file systems, and security features.  As a result,
> +	&os; may be found across the Internet, in the operating system
> +	of core router products, running root name servers, hosting
> +	major web sites, and as the foundation for widely used desktop
> +	operating systems.  This is only possible because of the
> +	diverse and world-wide membership of the
> +	volunteer &os; Project.</p>
> +
> +      <p><b>&os;&nbsp;9.0</b>, brings many new features
> +	and performance enhancements with a special focus on desktop
> +	support and security features.</p>
>
>       <ul>
> +	<li><b>Capsicum Capability Mode</b>:
> +	  Capsicum is a set of features for sandboxing support, using
> +	  a capability model in which the capabilities are file
> +	  descriptors.  Two new kernel options CAPABILITIES and
> +	  CAPABILITY_MODE have been added to the GENERIC kernel.</li>
> +
> +	<li><b>Hhook</b>:  (Helper Hook) and khelp(9) (Kernel Helpers)
> +	  KPIs have been implemented.  These are a kind of superset of
> +	  pfil(9) framework for more general use in the kernel.  The

This sentence's grammar is pretty lousy.  "kind of" should arguably 
removed, and there are other issues.

It's really too bad that we don't get entities for man pages, here (or do 
we?).  Hyperlinks would be handy.

> +	  hhook(9) KPI provides a way for kernel subsystems to export
> +	  hook points that khelp(9) modules can hook to provide
> +	  enhanced or new functionality to the kernel.  The khelp(9)
> +	  KPI provides a framework for managing khelp(9) modules,
> +	  which indirectly use the hhook(9) KPI to register their hook
> +	  functions with hook points of interest within the kernel.
> +	  These allow a structured way to dynamically extend the
> +	  kernel at runtime in an ABI preserving manner.</li>
> +	<li><b>Accounting API:</b> has been implemented.  It can keep
> +	  per-process, per-jail, and per-loginclass resource

login class takes a space (or a hyphen), at least in login.1.

> +	  accounting information.  Note that this is not built nor

I believe that "neither ... nor" is the more conventional usage.

> +	  installed by default.  To build and install them, specify

"this" (above) and "them" are inconsistent.

> +	  options RACCT in the kernel configuration file and rebuild

<tt class="LITERAL">?

> +	  the base system as described in the FreeBSD Handbook</li>

Could link to a more specific page...

> +
> +	<li><b>Resource-limiting API:</b> has been implemented.
> +	  It works in conjunction with the RACCT resource accounting
> +	  implementation and takes user-configurable actions based on
> +	  the set of rules it maintains and the current resource
> +	  usage.  The rctl(8) utility has been added to manage the
> +	  rules in userland.  Note that this is not built nor

"neither" again.

> +	  installed by default.</li>
> +
> +	<li><b>Usb:</b> subsystem now supports USB packet filter.

Not a complete sentence.

> +	  This allows to capture packets which go through each USB

"allows to capture" is very awkward.  "allows capturing" or similar?

> +	  host controller.  The implementation is almost based on
> +	  bpf(4) code.  The userland program usbdump(8) has been

This sentence does not realy convey any useful information.
Grabbing at straws, I think the intent is "The architecture of the packet 
filter is similar to that of bpf(4)."

> +	  added.</li>
> +
> +	<li><b>Infiniband support:</b>, OFED (OpenFabrics Enterprise
> +	  Distribution) version 1.5.3 has been imported into the
> +	  base system.</li>
> +	<li><b>TCP/IP network:</b> stack now supports the mod_cc(9)
> +	  pluggable congestion control framework.  This allows TCP

Not a complete sentence.

> +	  congestion control algorithms to be implemented as
> +	  dynamically loadable kernel modules.  The following kernel
> +	  modules are available cc_chd(4) for the CAIA-Hamilton-Delay

Some punctuation is neede before the list, most likely a colon.

> +	  algorithm, cc_cubic(4) for the CUBIC algorithm, cc_hd(4)
> +	  for the Hamilton-Delay algorithm, cc_htcp(4) for the H-TCP
> +	  algorithm, cc_newreno(4) for the NewReno algorithm, and
> +	  cc_vegas(4) for the Vegas algorithm.  The default algorithm
> +	  can be set by a new sysctl(8) variable
> +	  net.  inet.  tcp.  cc.  algorithm.</li>

Something seems horribly wrong with the formatting of this MIB entry.

> +
> +	<li><b>SU+J:</b> &os; Fast File System now supports soft
> +	updates with journaling.  It introduces an intent log into a

That's "FreeBSD's FFS" (possessive).

> +	softupdates-enabled file system which eliminates the need for
> +	background fsck(8) even on unclean shutdowns.</li>
>       </ul>
>
> +      <p><b>&os;&nbsp;8.x</b> brings many new

Whitespace looks funky here?

> +	features and performance enhancements.  With special focus on
> +	a new USB stack, &os;-8.x shipped with experimental support
> +	for NFSv4.  As well as a new TTY layer.  Which improves

Not a complete sentence.

> +	scalability and resources handling in SMP enabled systems.</p>

Nor this.

>
>       <ul>
> +	<li><b>Netisr framework:</b> has been reimplemented for
> +	  parallel threading support.  This is a kernel network

(Nor this.  The document seems to switch what format it uses for list 
entries midway through, it seems.)

> +	  dispatch interface which allows device drivers (and other
> +	  packet sources) to direct packets to protocols for directly
> +	  dispatched or deferred processing.  The new implementation
> +	  supports up to one netisr thread per CPU, and several
> +	  benchmarks on SMP machines show substantial performance
> +	  improvement over the previous version.</li>
> +
> +	<li><b>Linux emulation:</b> layer has been updated to version
> +	  2.  6.  16 and the default Linux infrastructure port is now

Looks like someone got too enthusiastic about french spacing at the end of 
sentences...

> +	  emulators/linux_base-f10 (Fedora 10)</li>

Markup for the port name?

> +	<li><b>Network Virtualization:</b> Container named vimage has

What does "container named vimage" mean?

> +	  been implemented, extending the FreeBSD kernel to maintain
> +	  multiple independent instances of networking state.
> +	  vimage facilities can be used independently to create fully

Sentence starts with a lowercase letter.

-Ben

> +	  virtualized network topologies, and jail(8) can directly
> +	  take advantage of a fully virtualized network stack.</li>
>       </ul>
Received on Thu Jan 31 2013 - 03:49:58 UTC