Permission to publish article

[Da Rock]

Out of sheer curiosity- is this spam? Is there any reference to the
"paint" on FreeBSD? I can't imagine where it would be used...


On Fri, 2008-03-28 at 08:23 -0600, Stacy at hesstravel.com wrote:
> To Whom It May Concern:
> 
>  
> 
> I am executive assistant to Mr. Alan Hess, author of the copyrighted article
> "If Airlines Sold Paint" originally published in Travel Weekly in October of
> 1998.  Since that time, the "Paint" satire has been widely circulated on the
> Internet, without any citation of authorship.  Mr. Hess is flattered that
> you like his work well enough to include it on your website.  
> 
>  
> 
> When he has been asked for permission to print it in various publications,
> including university text books, Mr. Hess has freely given that permission.
> If you wish to continue to use the article, please include the following
> citation:  
> 
>  
> 
> Printed with permission.  C Alan H. Hess, 1998.  All rights reserved.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you,
> 
>  
> 
> Stacy Hoeksel
> 
> Assistant to Alan H. Hess
> 
> stacy at hesstravel.com
> 
>  
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The correct text of the satire is as follows:
> 
>  
> 
> If airlines sold paint
> 
>  
> 
> Buying paint from a hardware store
> 
> Customer:             Hi, how much is your paint?
> 
> Clerk:                     We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and
> premium for $18.  How many gallons would you like?
> 
> Customer:             Five gallons of regular quality, please.
> 
> Clerk:                     Great.  That will be $60 plus tax.
> 
>  
> 
> 
> 
> Buying paint from an airline
> 
> Customer:             Hi, how much is your paint?
> 
> Clerk:                     Well, sir, that all depends.
> 
> Customer              Depends on what?
> 
> Clerk:                     Well, actually a lot of things.
> 
> Customer:             How about just giving me an average price?
> 
> Clerk:                     Wow, that's just too hard a question.  The lowest
> price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 prices up to about $200 a gallon.
> 
> Customer:             What's the difference in the paint?
> 
> Clerk:                     Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same
> paint.
> 
> Customer:             Well then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
> 
> Clerk:                     Well, first I need to ask you a few questions.
> When do you intend to use it?
> 
> Customer:             I want to paint tomorrow on my day off.
> 
> Clerk:                     Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
> 
> Customer:             What?  When would I have to paint in order to get the
> $9 version?
> 
> Clerk:                     That would be in three weeks, but you will also
> have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue
> painting until at least Sunday.  
> 
> Customer:             You've got to be kidding!
> 
> Clerk:                     Sir, we don't kid around here.  Of course, I'll
> have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can
> sell it to you.
> 
> Customer:             What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to
> me? You have shelves full of the stuff; I can see it right there.  
> 
> Clerk:                     Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we
> have it.  It may be the same paint, but we only sell a certain number of
> gallons on any given weekend.  Oh, and by the way, the price just went to
> $12.
> 
> Customer:             What!  You mean the price just went up while we were
> talking!
> 
> Clerk:                     Yes sir.  You see, we change prices and rules
> thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out the
> store with your paint yet, we just decided to change.  Unless you want the
> same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your
> purchase.  How many gallons do you want?
> 
> Customer:             I don't know exactly.  Maybe five gallons.  Maybe I
> should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
> 
> Clerk:                     Oh no, sir, you can't do that.  If you buy the
> paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible
> confiscation of the paint you already have.
> 
> Customer:             What?
> 
> Clerk:                     That's right.  We can sell you enough paint to do
> your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting
> before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.  
> 
> Customer:             But what does it matter to you whether I use all the
> paint?  I already paid you for it!
> 
> Clerk:                     Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's
> just the way it is.  We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all
> the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
> 
> Customer:             This is crazy!  I suppose something terrible will
> happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
> 
> Clerk:                     Yes, sir, it will.
> 
> Customer:             Well, that does it!  I'm going somewhere else to buy
> my paint.
> 
> Clerk:                     That won't do you any good, sir.  We all have the
> same rules.  Oh, and thanks for flying - I mean painting - with our airline.
> 
>  
> 
> C Alan H. Hess, 1998.  All rights reserved.
> 
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