lighttpd + fastcgi socket connection error

[Pat Maddox]

I've managed to get lighttpd with fastcgi working on FreeBSD 5.3 a
couple times, but every time I restart lighttpd, it doesn't work
anymore.  I get the following message in my error log:
2005-05-06 23:55:05: (mod_fastcgi.c.1466) connect failed: 8 Connection
refused 61 0 /tmp/rails.socket-3

I've never been able to figure out what causes that problem.  And it
really frustrates me that sometimes it'll run fine, but usually not.
Can anyone tell me how to make it work, and explain to me what's going
on so I know how to do things right in the future?