Confusing sentence

[Doug Barton]

On 02/17/10 10:56, John Baldwin wrote:
> On Sunday 14 February 2010 2:12:15 pm Jonathan Vasquez wrote:
>> URL:
>> http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/version-guide/past-schedules.html
>>
>> <http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/version-guide/past-schedules.html>SENTENCE:
>> "These considerations, rather than any kind of keeping up with the major
>> release number of any other OS, comprise the main motivation for the
>> scheduling changes going forward."
>>
>> IMPROVED: "Taking the above into consideration, we have learned that it's
>> better to not rush development because another OS released a major version."
> 
> The wording could definitely use improvement, but I don't think the new
> sentence has the same meaning.  It is more like "we are speeding up the
> frequency of releases, but for reasons X, Y, and Z; not to keep with other OS
> version numbers."
> 
> Perhaps just splitting it up into two sentence so it is less of a mouthful:
> 
>   These considerations are the motivation for the scheduling changes going
>   forward.  The schedule is not being changed to "keep pace" with other OS
>   versions.

IMO better not to mention others at all. I would just nuke the whole
last sentence.


Doug

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