cvs commit: ports/java/netbeans Makefile distinfo ports/java/netbeans/files patch-etc_netbeans.conf

[Doug Barton]

On Fri, 21 Dec 2007, Aryeh M. Friedman wrote:

> If you read the follow-ups you will see thats what I did.  Since we
> clearly have very different styles of doing things let's make a deal I
> will not get your case and you will not get on mine.

Aryeh,

It's tempting at this point to paint yourself as a victim/martyr and 
thereby excuse yourself from trying to learn from your experiences.

I agree with you that some members of the various lists you've been active 
on (including some committers) have reacted poorly to your posts, and that 
is unfortunate. However I think it's also worth pointing out that your 
style comes off as more than a little abrasive and demanding, and that is 
not the way you want to be perceived as part of an all-volunteer 
community.

I think this post is a micro-cosmic version of the bigger picture, so let 
me illustrate how we generally do things around here:

good: "I tried this version of the port and it fixed the compile issue on 
my 5-stable machine. Thanks for working on this."

also good: "I tried this ... and ran into the following problems ..."

not good: "I haven't bothered to do anything to help myself, so I expect
you to be the font of all information before I lift a finger."

Please note that the last example is exaggerated a bit. :) I hope you get 
my meaning however .... in this community we generally try to do things 
for ourselves first, then offer help, information, etc. to others.

I think that you have some good/interesting ideas, and I hope that your 
early experiences don't sour you on participating. At the same time, I'd 
hate for what you have to say to be drowned out by the manner in which you 
say it.

hth,

Doug

PS, and this really is a good thing for everyone to keep in mind ... 
Before hitting send on any given message to a list, ask yourself if what 
you have to say _genuinely_ adds value to the discussion that everyone 
will appreciate, or if possibly your message could go just as a response 
to the person.

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